Monday, October 1, 2012

Birth Of a Domestic Ninja

      OK, to start off I'll tell you a little bit about myself. A couple of years ago I had a decent job working for my family's business, everything was great, I had a career, my 3 kids were in daycare and taken care of, and my wife was doing really well at her chosen profession. It was easy, just go through your daily routine, no problems, no chaos, nice and orderly. Then life proceeded to kick my ass.
     The economy crashed and I went from 40 hours to 15 and eventually to unemployed. Right around this time I received a call from the police that my daycare provider was arrested. ( I won't say for what, but it was pretty horrible ). So all of a sudden reality hit me, I was going to have to be a stay at home dad. Now I could have put my kids in another daycare and tried to find a job, did I tell you my sitter was in jail ( it was pretty clear to me no one could be trusted to care for my kids but myself ) and it was 2008, so yeah that was a no go.
     Now like a lot of people I thought staying at home would be like a vacation, so of course I jumped at the chance of staying home. I mean think of it, sitting around playing  xbox, watching Springer, napping, catching a round of golf every now and then. Oh yeah, the golden life. Can you imagine my surprise when I discovered I was totally wrong. I found myself working my ass off, and I don't mean a few hours throughout the day, I mean 5 a.m. to 10 p.m., 7 days a week. It's the hardest job I've ever had. Unless you've done it yourself, believe me you HAVE NO IDEA!

    That's right, I went from one job to 10 or more. I am a taxi service, launderer, maid, cook, handyman, accountant, maid ( or butler for my male brothers ), janitor, dog walker, husband ( which if you knew my wife is a full time job in itself), alarm clock, security guard ( daughters ), mechanic, amateur doctor, and many more rolled into one.

   I am a jack of all trades, always on the move. I have tricks and secret weapons to accomplish any task set before me. No task to great, no task to small. I am relentless.


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